Monday, February 23, 2015

Currently Eating 2.23.15


I love candy-themed holidays. Halloween is my favorite, just because the aesthetic and the traditions are most fun to me--who doesn't love funneling chocolate into a child's treat bag? But I appreciate any holiday that isn't subtle about its relationship to food. To be fair, I eagerly anticipate any day of the year that I can expect to eat more than usual, whether it's my birthday, or the day of a transfer student information seminar with free pizza.

Valentine's Day, Halloween, and Easter decorations are cute, and if nothing else, themed candy makes everyone excited, so I have every reason in the world to look forward to candy holidays. Plus, post-seasonal sales! Nothing compares to Christmas sales, but if you're craving discount pink-foiled sweets shaped like hearts and roses and whatever else symbolizes love everlasting, V Day is great.

Honestly, I'm not really into sweets. Given the choice, I'm pretty enthusiastic about salad, but I'm not picky. I do have some weaknesses though. Consider caramel Hershey kisses. I'll come back to those.

First, I need to explain something stupid I do. When I really, really like a food, I'll eat it until I'm totally sick of it. I was apparently born without self control, so in a perfect world (read: an alternate universe where I'm not a broke college student) I'd keep buying whatever it is, but usually it's too much of a luxury purchase to justify the money. Sushi-grade fish is way out of my budget. Turkey Hill cookies and cream ice cream is like six dollars unless it's on sale, and it only lasts me about 2.5 servings because I'm a monster. I have a seriously addictive personality, and unfortunately food fixations are not an exception to that trend. However, most people can't reasonably spend all their waking hours continuously eating junk food. This is annoying, as you can imagine, because if I can't focus on schoolwork I have to at least pretend the reason isn't a passionate daydream about mozzarella.

Here's where the stupid part comes in (I know, you thought that was it, but it gets worse): in order to be free from my own self-induced fiening, I'll expedite that stage where I'm totally sick of whatever I'm craving by overindulging well beyond the point of comfort. Rephrased: I'm such a gluttonous slob that I'll purposely overeat until I'm on the brink of death so I stop craving three dollar cookies.

Back to caramel Hershey kisses.


I've been addicted to these things since I was a 15 year old mall goth. After all this time I've never been able to get to that elusive “I want to puke and die and never eat these again” stage despite many truly admirable attempts. Apparently one serving is nine pieces. Ha. This year I blew more on sale chocolate than I typically spend on groceries in a week, seduced by my favorite awful candy in cute pink foils. I'll probably die of malnutrition before I stop eating them of my own free will. I can't remember the last time I made a proper breakfast. They're not even that good. What's so addicting about them? I don't know, but I can't stop.


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