Monday, November 30, 2015

Currently Watching 11.30.15


So recently I've found myself in many conversations about celebrity crushes, and found myself lamenting the fact that I lack them. Seriously. Imagine: I'm sitting there in my bio lab. My lab group is collectively slicing open a fetal pig, and I'm just trying to come up with a possible celebrity crush. They move onto cutting open a cow's eyeball, and I'm sifting through my mental banks of actors, writers, artists.

Ugh have all my babies I don't even want babies and you're dead but I'm willing to work through it
People always scoff celebrity crushes, claim them to be just proof of how shallow we all are as a culture. We're so fixated on looks, it's disgusting. That's the reason Tinder is a thing anyway, isn't it? Except - we're not as shallow as all that. If we were - if the sum of a person's attractiveness were solely based on looks - why would we specify that it's Leonardo Dicaprio in Titanic or Jared Leto in his 30 Seconds to Mars days? If we really were just shallow beings, we'd have crushes on models or the current face of Gucci.


But no. We're attracted to talent as much as to looks, which is why an 'okay' face becomes more attractive when you see them in action. So to have a bit of fun: here's the list I made upon waking at 3:30am fixated on finding a celebrity crush - or a handful - to call my own.

Noah Wilson-Rich
A biologist studying colony collapse disorder and CHANGING THE WORLD
Jo Hoffberg
AMAZING swing dancer ugh yes
Stjepan Hauser
Cellist that's covered AC/DC as well as beautiful classical pieces
Lee Byung-hun
Korean-Japanese actor who's got damn talent
Jack Whitehall
One of my favorite British comedians
Frank Ocean
A rapper for rappers - so well respected by the hip-hop community, and rightly so
Conclusion: oh baby give me your talent. Hope y'all had a happy Thanksgiving, and I hope y'all don't shame anyone (or yourselves!) for crushing on people. Go forth and admire!
 
"KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD, BABYLON"

-Courtney

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