I am going to try really hard to not turn this post into "Currently Watching," but it might be inevitable...
All of my friends from high school have formed a cult following for the show, Steven Universe. At first glance, it is a silly show on Cartoon Network about a little half-gem, half-human boy who goes on adventures with the Crystal Gems (a group of alien space-rocks who constantly save the town of Beach City from the havoc of their Home World).
But, the truth is, I wish I had a show like this while I was growing up. It seamlessly integrates topics of loss, morality, mental illness, and sexual orientation, in a way that is palatable to younger audiences. And it definitely helps that there are catchy songs embedded in almost every episode.
There are many episodes of Steven Universe that have (almost) brought me to tears, but one episode has truly resonated with me, and continues to do so even after the three weeks that it premiered.
This is where I stop fangirling about Steven Universe, and discuss how important this song ("Here Comes a Thought") is to me.
Here Comes a Thought by Rebecca Sugar
For anyone dealing with intrusive thoughts, this song embodies the rational thinking we all wish we had. Everyone with any kind of anxiety disorder knows the feeling of one pesky, little thought growing larger and larger until it consumes us. Wouldn't it be nice to just look at these small anxieties and turn them into butterflies that float away as quickly as they came?
Since I first listened to this song, it has become a mantra for my restless mind.
I know what it feels like to remember that one thing you said five years ago and feel embarrassed for how you failed to be charming in that situation.
I know how it feels for your mind to pick at your petty, little mistakes until you lose sleep at night over them.
I know the exhaustion of searching through conversations to try to decipher what people "truly" think of you.
And I know it is easier said than done. It's simple to just say "Take a deep breath and think of flexibility, love and trust." I know that in the moment, it's hard to just let things go and remind yourself that the thoughts in your head are just thoughts, and not always reality. It's hard to convince yourself that things aren't as big or important as you're making them seem.
But at the end of the day, when we ask ourselves if these thoughts will be the reason we fall apart, the answer is always: they are not; they are not; they are not.