Monday, October 3, 2016

Currently Eating 10.3.2016

Allow me to be frank: I've rewritten this piece enough times to warrant embarrassment. First, I attempted my own verbose rapport for chopping and searing and saucing, supplemented with my foodie Instagram feed (Anthony Bourdain really wouldn't approve). From there, I tinkered with a draft of my boyfriend’s Beef Stroganoff Disaster of 2012 to explain why it's a goddamn necessity that I cook every day (he used canned gravy and I still haven’t forgiven him). After scrapping that, I considered an appeal for the readers who are intimidated with wielding a sharp knife (and quick PSA: You're more prone to cut yourself with a dull blade than one that slices with ease), crushing spices or dousing batter into incendiary grease. . . I'll spare you the rest of my gratuitous rabbit hole.
Look, much like writing this post in the first place, cooking doesn't have to be complicated. I sincerely doubt that you're scorching prime rib or whipping meringue for soufflés nightly (and if you are, who ARE you?). Bluntly speaking, it takes a whopping fourth of a brain cell to boil water, and less than that to realize that you should hold a knife with the pointy end away from you. See? You can throw a decent meal together without any Herculean effort.
cooking food excited scream screaming

So in the spirit of celebrating simplicity, allow me to share a tasty secret that I’ve gleaned from years working in restaurant after restaurant; something straightforward and versatile. You ready? Two words:

Roasted. Garlic.

Shhh. It’s okay. I’ll talk you through it:
Take a bulb of garlic. Slice off a bit off the top so that each clove is exposed (like the picture above). Drizzle with some oil. Wrap the bulb in aluminum before cavalierly tossing into a 400° oven, and leave to caramelize for a good 30-35 minutes, or until tender and squishy (yes, squishy).
Now, I don’t mean to alarm you, but that process may require the breadth of an entire brain cell… I have faith in you.
Much like the late Mitch Hedberg’s attitude about baked potatoes (, sometimes I just throw garlic in the oven, even if I wasn’t planning on using it. Once it’s broiled to liquid gold (suck it Velveeta), I can smear it on crusty bread, squeeze the gooey deliciousness into a simmering pot of red lentils, mash it with sriracha and mayonnaise (perfect for sweet potato fries), mix it with whole grain mustard and plaster onto a chicken I’m preparing to roast (yeah do yourself a favor and try that immediately), macerate it on charred greens like broccoli rabe, blend it with- okay, I’m stopping now before you drool all over your keyboard. Get cooking.

You’re welcome.

P.S. I changed my mind, here’s a shameless snapshot from my Instagram feed:

^^^^^Drunk Food of Choice: Seared asparagus dressed with roasted garlic and Parmesan cheese, and topped with a fried egg. I lovingly stole this idea from the fine chefs of Brooklyn's Soigne, and it only takes ten minutes to assemble (once you have the roasted garlic, of course. . . yes you can refrigerate it for future use).

Now, you’re welcome.

No comments:

Post a Comment