Though the whole day of ghouls, witches and ghosts concept really isn't my thing, as a child I used to love to get dressed up in different costumes. I was Harry Potter, a king, a pirate, Superman, Luke Skywalker and a superhero self-named Flower Man (story for another time) all before the age of thirteen. Pretty sweet if I do say so myself. Even in my college years, I have dressed up as many things, including Mario, Scooby-Doo, a minion and the Reverse-Flash. There's something so liberating about being able to be anything one could possibly want to be, without having the consequences of being such a thing thrown upon you. The more intricate, special, and thorough the costume, the more hidden the true you is. (Or maybe it's the other way around...hmmmmm...)
However, in life I have also found myself in the horrible situation of forgetting that I had a costume party to attend, and have had to fend off naysayers of my creative ability by coming up with some pretty sweet last minute costumes. Still unsure of what you're going to go as for tonight's Halloween shindig? Need some inspiration to get the creative juices flowing? Well I thought I'd ween in some pretty hallow ideas that I've had over the years (along with some I've researched or seen) just in case like me, the English language amuses you.
Here are thirteen puns you can be for Halloween:
1. Buy a Barack Obama mask. Hug strangers. You're ObamaCare.
2. Sharpie "Life" onto a "Hello My Name Is" sticker. Walk around handing out lemons. You will be successfully be - When Life Gives You Lemons.
3. Wear a mask. Tape a sign that says "Blessing" to the back of your shirt underneath a big hoodie. Why? Well because this way you can be a Blessing in Disguise.
4. Stand around clapping. Tape a sign that says "Ovation" onto your shirt. Congratulations - you're a Standing Ovation.
5. You'll need a wire hanger for this one. And once again, a name tag. You'll be named Cliff this time. And as you hang the hanger anywhere on your person you can be a literature student's worse nightmare - a Cliff Hanger.
6. Print out some pictures of your favorite cereal and tape them to a white t-shirt. Put some red streaks on your white tee, and for good measure, carry around a large knife. No one will want to mess with you, you "Cereal" Killer.
7. Wrap yourself in a large cardboard box. Don't worry, it gets better. Now put a bunch of pictures of Slim Shady aka Marshall Mathers into your pocket. Isn't this obvious - you're a Box of "Eminems."
8. Get a buddy. Have them wear different shades of green. Wear a plain white tee and in Sharpie write "Envy" on it. As long as you both walk around together, you can be Green With Envy.
9. Wear a suit, preferably a really nice one. Shake hands with everyone you meet, begging forgiveness from them. After all, everyone appreciates a Formal Apology.
10. Grab two friends, and spray paint your heads white. Throughout the party, go around and offer to bring people drinks. Never follow through with bringing anything. Bingo - looks like we got some Frosted Flakes...admit it, this one is greeeeeeat.
11. Wear a dress, get some fangs, and go as Beauty and the Beast. That'll get the existential thinkers in the room pondering the duality of human nature in a heart beat.
12. Just state people down and when they ask, say you're a Watch.
13. Literally just carry around a watch and read this list to people. You can be "Once a Pun a Time".
There are so many more, but I think you get the idea. Be yourself and have fun at parties like these; who cares if you win a prize or not? (Go around as a fancifully dressed gentleman and randomly give out ribbons - you can be Sir Prize). Whatever you want to be is cool. The main thing is that you be safe and be you.
Stay golden all,